A Suitor Dilemma

The thunder is rumbling in the distance and the slow patter of raindrops on the hard packed earth reaches my ears as I sit at my writing desk, sipping on teressa cider, a delicacy in all of Krespania.

The fireplace is crackling warmly, setting the mood for a cozy atmosphere unlike the cold, dreary weather outside, and takes the chill from occupying the stone chamber floors and walls.

I have decided to write today, having been in a dull state and having no pending tasks of the government to be performed.

I did not have an idea to do anything else so I thought I would write the latest occurrences of interest here in LunaMara palace and Krespania.

It involves my lady-in-waiting, Meredith de Barra.

I have mentioned her in my other writings but have not really dwelt upon her in length as now is necessary.

More loyal than any other acquaintance or so called friend, she has been with me since I gained the royal position of queen in Krespania.

Her hair shines like the evening sun through autumn leaves in a brilliant red hue and is as flowing as the gentle ripples upon a lake. She speaks with a soft accent as one who hails from the north-western regions of Krespania, and is everything that is dignified in the way she talks and moves, yet she holds a mildness in her temper and a patience so far from pride or arrogance.

Having all these attributes in her favor, I could safely say that if I could hear the inner thoughts of all the ladies in the court, I would discover she is the envy of them all.

And it is also a fact that all the eligible young men of my court vie for her attention.

From this the problem comes forth.

As I said before her loyalty is so dominant that she feels it is her duty to remain at my side and do my bidding, never thinking about herself or her future. Therefore she feels that having any attachment would interfere with her task of waiting on me.

That was fine for me, until recently when a man in his early twenties came into the court.

He is from Natilia, a region in western Krespania, and his name is Luco Giovanos.

I met him officially when he entered the court, and found he is here on business, and by this had opportunity to observe him closely.

Luco has close-cropped brown hair, and his height is tall and stately.
He has eyes as deep blue as the Crustallum ocean in the winter, that hold an intensity in their gaze as if he can see right through to your heart.
He has a serious air about him and polite, though somewhat quiet, as if he does not desire to reveal much about his work or self, yet not suspicious, just reserved in his behavior.

Overall I found him instantly to be very charming and handsome but having a graveness like he had experienced all the cruelness this world could offer and been made harder for it, and skeptical. Skeptical because he now does not trust anyone easily for fear they will deceive him.
But when he smiles which is not too often, it is gentle and softens the hard look in his eyes, giving him an easy-going and handsome mien.

This is purely my own theory and observation that I have gathered and not fact, but I am fairly certain it is true in some ways.

Meredith's reaction to the attention of her admirers is what you would call indifference. She will be polite but does not encourage interaction or pursuit of her affections.

She is modest, and dislikes the attention, and would probably much rather be left alone, but that is not something that will occur.

Since the first time he visited I could tell Lucos took a liking to her, and after many meetings I find she might also be attracted to him. It is very hard to distinguish it in her but she tends to have a little more cordiality toward him, and I think I can take it as a good sign of attachment.

And what I meant in the aforesaid many meetings is that he seems to frequent the court more than usual for a man of business who has little reason to. And when he is there I catching him often with his eyes discreetly upon Meredith beside me, and when in conversation with me, he is too distracted to make any proper dialogue.

I think this is amusing to watch. First, because the court can be tiresome, and second because he, a man that seems to have little sentiments or feelings, actually is smitten by my lady-in-waiting.

It is sweet to be sure.

But the only thing I fear is that she is putting herself on guard against any of his advances that he has made and will not let herself love because of the notion of duty to me.

I have always said that she could marry any one of the noble men of her choosing if she wanted, which is far better than most could contrive, having status and wealth, but she is not effected by that fact.

Partly, I know, because she wants her marriage to be one of love and not of material gain, but I think she may also feel she is obligated by her duty to stay by my side because of her eternal loyalty.

But this loyalty may end her chances of happiness if she allows it. I can tell he is a caring and considerate man, who I think, she will be happy with, but if she continues to resist his effort he will surrender and leave.

Anyway, that is the problem, and I would never want her to be unhappy, especially on my account, so I shall try to encourage her about him, and perhaps concoct reasons to invite him to LunaMara more often for events of leisure.

I can be quite conniving when I want to be, and I think my brother Lennox can vouch to that fact.

I will think up a scheme, and deploy it with speed if all comes to worst.

-Emerald de Gavrillac

 Queen of Krespania