The Young and Naive

Since returning to Krespania, my life has been a flurry of activity, being invited to the many celebrations that are given by various lords and ladies of the court.

I have not even found time to settle back into LunaMara palace.
And though all these multiple excursions can be tiresome, it has revived my Christmas spirit and the inner cheer that had drained away during my stay at Agmar.
The candles, the smell of cinnamon and pine, and the wreaths of greenery have washed over my cold heart like the first feel of heat from a much yearned for fireplace.
This hearth has melted the snow from the last many months that have built up a barrier around my soul, and a sort of Spring has brought forth new life and a new perspective for me.
I am once again reminded of my love for this season, and the magic that surrounds it.

But as for the parties, I know I shall soon weary of it.
For as they help mold the Christmas tradition, so does the tranquility of sitting by a hearth with a seasonal drink in hand and reflecting upon what really matters most importantly: the origin of the holiday, Christ Jesus' birth and with it the birth of hope and redemption; for without that our world would be a dark place indeed, without a pinhole of light to brighten our souls and give reason for the cheer of Christmas that inhabits each of our hearts.

I think the latter custom is more of my favorite but maybe it is only because of my personality, for most do not agree with me including some of my ladies-in-waiting.
Delfina and Gaelle breathe in any chance of a gala like a new burst of oxygen, living for the opportunity of meeting someone new, conversing and dancing, and whenever they speak it is to wonder when the next invitation will occur.
Gossipers and busybodies, I'm more often irritated by their incessant talk and other times amused that they do not aspire to anything higher than finding a wealthy and prominent husband among the visitors of my court.

Yes, everyone is scrutinized with a trained eye and speculated over.
"La, there is a new face."
"He looks young!"
"And prosperous - do you see the material of his jacket?"
"Yes, and what a magnificent shade! He must be a Duke, if I am not mistaken, and I am usually not."
"So handsome too!..." and an eruption of giggles follow.

To be sure, if there is someone new especially a gentleman, I am the first to know by those two.
Poor Sophia, the youngest of my ladies-in-waiting, and quiet and mild with her somber disposition, is drowned out by the ecstasy of them and refuses to chime in.
Because of this, I feel drawn to her recognizing a reflection of me in her, and I try to encourage her due to her lack of self-confidence.
Unlike Gaelle and  Delfina, when she has something to say it is important and everyone ceases their striving to listen, or at least should.
She is not wasted upon frivolous matters and does not pay heed to trivial things.

Oh, I do not condemn Gaelle and Delfina completely for their behavior; it is the way they were taught, and I can sympathize having once been similar.
But having more responsibility laid on me and more urgent matters to concern myself with, I found the majority of those thoughts vanished into yesteryear of my life.
Sure, I have always had the thought one day I would marry, and the idea has continued with me as the years have passed, it is just not at this time - some future day.
But once I have thought about it and no man has come along, I wonder if perhaps I will not after all. But even so, it does not bother me; I am content, whether I remain this way or God sends someone.
I leave it in His hands.

And in this way I have altered from the young, naive Emerald I was.
I do not know if Delfina and Gaelle will learn this, but hopefully they will realize there are wiser things to dwell upon then such as material gain.


-Emerald de Gavrillac
Queen of Krespania

Troubadours and Acrobats

With the passing of the holiday season and the activity it produces, life has returned to it's normal rhythm- with the exception of myself.

Somehow the schedule I have at LunaMara seems hardly enough.
After waking and eating breakfast, I go to the royal chapel to pray and reflect upon God's Word.
Then I go to the court where I listen to my subjects requests, petitions, and et cetera.
This lasts till noon, and I proceed to meet with my officials to sign governmental and political documents and discuss alterations in the administration.
But from there I have little else to do until dinner in the evening.

 I feel like any spare moment of my time must be spent in doing something worthwhile, and if not I suffer such agony.
But the reason for this is no mystery to me; the majority of the previous year was consumed in the terrible war with Palkaan, where every minute I busied myself in planning strategies, giving orders, obeying orders and moving the troops to suitable locations for the most advantage.
I was worn to the bone, and even still I remain less than fully well.

But that does not give my instinct pause.
My hands must be busy!

Wherefore I have taken to early morning rides each day and long walks through the snowy LunaMara gardens at midday.
My lady-in-waiting, Meredith, is continually cautioning me to not overtax myself, in concern for my health.
And I try, earnestly I do, to rest, but once I sit down I become so agitated and distracted with whatever it is going on, and it is not an easy thing to keep still in such a state.

A certain nobleman of my court suggested hiring a troupe of Pasarzian performers to entertain me and divert me from my anxiety, and my lady-in-waiting promptly arranged for their arrival this last weekend.
Since then they have performed every night after we dine.

And the concept has worked thus far; I am wholly fascinated by the lyrical songs of the troubadours, and am particularly drawn to the acrobats with their strange contortions and ability to balance one upon another without falling to injury.
Oh, and the ones that breath fire!
I should think it was sorcery other than the fact that such practice is prohibited.
The entertainers are quite talented.

Hopefully I will be well soon and overcome this habit I have taken too... albeit it will be some time before that takes place.

But do not worry, friend.
I shall write in the meantime.


-Emerald de Gavrillac
 Queen of Krespania

Far From Home

The destination is set, and the coordinates navigated carefully by the stars above.

Not to any location upon which we would wage war in the quest for freedom, but to a place I have eagerly yearned for: home; the idea is almost foreign to me after the many months I have been away.

Like a distant dream with no part in reality, is the sound of it to my ears; I feel as if it cannot be obtained again once the dream has ended.

Krespania should be lovely around now; the streets of Estrillo are probably blanketed with a layer of white snow, and each house lining it decorated with fresh wreaths of foliage and Christmas greenery.

I can see the children playing in the snow, with sanguine cheeks, bright eyes and a merry smile, and hear the greetings of the season from the lips of every person that have ventured from the warmth of their houses into the brisk cold of the day.

Oh, how I wish to be part of it!

My heart wills the ship to sail faster so that I will not miss any of it; but alas, we shall not make port until next week unless a favorable wind is bestowed on us.

Meredith is going to great lengths to cheer me up; she has concocted a mixture in the galley that tastes similar to the seasonal drink of wassail, simply to revive my Christmas spirit, and subdue my depression, but aside from that little else aboard The Golden Dawn reminds me what time of the year it is.

In these unsteady circumstances I wonder if Lennox will ever visit me for the holidays, beings still occupied by the left over wars Palkaan's men are holding in certain regions.

As for Palkaan himself, I deferred to King Brinsley of Asram the privilege of delivering him to the League at the Summit Isles where he will await judgment and ultimately execution for his crimes.

My men are presently still assisting Lennox in concluding the war, but having no further need of my personal command, I took the opportunity to set sail at the earliest convenience to Krespania.

There hopefully I will receive the rest that has been absent in my life and recover from the grueling aftereffects of the war.

I hope I am not too fatigued that I cannot enjoy the celebrations and festivities that will take place at Krespania.

I cannot help but yearn for the cozy nights in front of the fire, mesmerized by the crackling and popping of the wood, with a warm drink and pastry in hand, while telling stories or memories like the tradition Lennox and I have every winter.

My opinion will certainly change later but the thought of organizing a feast or gala sounds welcoming and relaxing to me, even though I usually consider it a most stressing ordeal. 

The stress that comes from planning still has a lightness compared to the grave stress incurred by war and battle.

I think I could cope with it marginally well in light of what I have been enduring as of late. 

And seeing as it as fitting with the time at hand, I will finish with the wish that you will have a merry Christmas and a joyful holiday season.

-Emerald de Gavrillac

Queen of Krespania