Since returning to Krespania, my life has been a flurry of activity, being invited to the many celebrations that are given by various lords and ladies of the court.
I have not even found time to settle back into LunaMara palace.
And though all these multiple excursions can be tiresome, it has revived my Christmas spirit and the inner cheer that had drained away during my stay at Agmar.
The candles, the smell of cinnamon and pine, and the wreaths of greenery have washed over my cold heart like the first feel of heat from a much yearned for fireplace.
This hearth has melted the snow from the last many months that have built up a barrier around my soul, and a sort of Spring has brought forth new life and a new perspective for me.
I am once again reminded of my love for this season, and the magic that surrounds it.
But as for the parties, I know I shall soon weary of it.
For as they help mold the Christmas tradition, so does the tranquility of sitting by a hearth with a seasonal drink in hand and reflecting upon what really matters most importantly: the origin of the holiday, Christ Jesus' birth and with it the birth of hope and redemption; for without that our world would be a dark place indeed, without a pinhole of light to brighten our souls and give reason for the cheer of Christmas that inhabits each of our hearts.
I think the latter custom is more of my favorite but maybe it is only because of my personality, for most do not agree with me including some of my ladies-in-waiting.
Delfina and Gaelle breathe in any chance of a gala like a new burst of oxygen, living for the opportunity of meeting someone new, conversing and dancing, and whenever they speak it is to wonder when the next invitation will occur.
Gossipers and busybodies, I'm more often irritated by their incessant talk and other times amused that they do not aspire to anything higher than finding a wealthy and prominent husband among the visitors of my court.
Yes, everyone is scrutinized with a trained eye and speculated over.
"La, there is a new face."
"He looks young!"
"And prosperous - do you see the material of his jacket?"
"Yes, and what a magnificent shade! He must be a Duke, if I am not mistaken, and I am usually not."
"So handsome too!..." and an eruption of giggles follow.
To be sure, if there is someone new especially a gentleman, I am the first to know by those two.
Poor Sophia, the youngest of my ladies-in-waiting, and quiet and mild with her somber disposition, is drowned out by the ecstasy of them and refuses to chime in.
Because of this, I feel drawn to her recognizing a reflection of me in her, and I try to encourage her due to her lack of self-confidence.
Unlike Gaelle and Delfina, when she has something to say it is important and everyone ceases their striving to listen, or at least should.
She is not wasted upon frivolous matters and does not pay heed to trivial things.
Oh, I do not condemn Gaelle and Delfina completely for their behavior; it is the way they were taught, and I can sympathize having once been similar.
But having more responsibility laid on me and more urgent matters to concern myself with, I found the majority of those thoughts vanished into yesteryear of my life.
Sure, I have always had the thought one day I would marry, and the idea has continued with me as the years have passed, it is just not at this time - some future day.
But once I have thought about it and no man has come along, I wonder if perhaps I will not after all. But even so, it does not bother me; I am content, whether I remain this way or God sends someone.
I leave it in His hands.
And in this way I have altered from the young, naive Emerald I was.
I do not know if Delfina and Gaelle will learn this, but hopefully they will realize there are wiser things to dwell upon then such as material gain.
-Emerald de Gavrillac
Queen of Krespania
