Love.
What is love? It is not something tangible or substantial. It cannot be seen nor felt physically and you sometime wonder if it even exists. It is something hard to understand, to comprehend, and yet it encompasses all of us in different ways.
It is easy to say that you love someone but to really show it in deed and acts is another thing that most of us do not achieve.
I discovered that we are all so very wrapped up in ourselves that we selfishly do not consider others, what they might be needing or thinking, even when we claim that we love them. We only look out for ourselves at the expense of our loved ones.
So I have halted myself and contemplated this fact. Is my love I claim for my family in earnest? You tend to take advantage of their love for you and in your selfish state squelch it and step all over it in your own self-pursuits. You have the mindset that their love will always be there for you and never vanish so you naturally forget about the special fact that they love you and care for you.
That is...until their gone. Then your mind continually brings back memories of their kindness and care despite your selfishness and how you in return gave them...nothing.
These are dreary and disheartening words but they are the truth.
The reason for all my melancholy is because I have (I am ashamed to admit) experienced this. I am guilty of this wrongdoing and there is nothing now that I can do to mend the way I have acted.
I am heartbroken and saddened beyond words and this knowledge only adds to my grief.
My despair is great dwelling upon the fact that I shall never be capable of returning those years of love that I have ungratefully received and that thought alone I cannot bear.
You will not understand my full meaning I suppose, unless I tell you the cause of my sadness.
I have received a letter. The outside looks like any other insignificant letter but the story it told inside was a whole different matter.
It came from Christian Bentione, Lennox’s first mate and a loyal companion on board The Ruler, Lennox’s prized vessel.
He relayed that there was a sea battle in the Arctos ocean amidst a terrible storm. Two enemy ships that belonged to Wilson, a long time enemy of Agmar and of anyone who opposes his power, attacked Lennox’s vessel.
They saw the two ships on the horizon and one drew closer to attack, wrote Christian. He said that a well placed cannon ball was sent into their powder keg and immediately it exploded into a million pieces.
The rain came in torrents and the waves foamed and threatened to overturn their ship with their violent rushing. Lightening cracked the sky with a brilliant light and sent a thunderous rumble that shook the timbers of the vessel. But the other ship was relentless in it’s pursuit of Lennox.
Wilson’s ship circled around behind them at a distance and seemed to wait.
Christian writes that they assumed Wilson’s ship would attack at dawn and so in attempt to not alarm them that Lennox knew of their presence they preceded to keep their lanterns lit as if nothing was amiss while secretly they let out a dingy behind them with a rope tied to the ship.
They used the rope to climb down to the dingy and watch the enemy ship without the interference of the light that The Ruler produced.
And they waited.
Their estimation was correct. At dawn, when the sun had barely risen above the eastern horizon, the enemy battleship unfurled their canvas and sped toward The Ruler with intent to sink.
The events that followed were typical of a sea battle and yet the consequences were significant.
One could not tell the difference between the thunder and the rumble of a cannon as it exploded with a deadly projectile, the first mate wrote. And the two opposing forces fired upon each other with ferocity until one of Wilson’s hit their mark. It embedded the ammunition of the cannon into the side of The Ruler, the impact against the hull of the vessel exploded the side into pieces and rocked the ship so violently that my brother, who was on the poop deck issuing orders, was thrown overboard.
Christian was on the quarterdeck at the time and saw as he was hurled overboard. The waves roared and rose several feet above Lennox’s head before dropping and enclosing him in their icy grip. It was a few seconds and then his head reappeared in the dark foamy turbulence and Christian yelled for the crew to throw him a rope.
Another wave was coming and Lennox had only enough time to grab a hold of the dingy that had been torn from it’s lodgings and pull himself into it.
The wave collapsed and before the men could arrive with the rope Lennox was forced out into the sea by the effects of it.
Christian wrote that it would have been in vain to try to throw a rope to him because he was already too far out for it to be of any use and they could not at this point go after him since the battle against Wilson's ship was still raging on despite the loss of their captain.
He was distraught and at a loss on what action to take as he watched his captain and emperor in a small boat drifting out into the fierce, open sea. The rain poured down upon him and soon a wave curled up and dissolved any view he had of him.
My heart lodged in my throat as I read this and for a moment I was frozen, feeling as if I could not breath and that the whole world had collapsed on me. How could this be?
Lennox, lost in the sea? The letter drifted from my hand onto the floor below as I dropped to the couch.
My dear, dear brother! My only brother! All since childhood everything we had done had been with each other.
He taught me how to shoot the bow and crossbow, showed me how to use the broadsword, and influenced me with a love of adventure.
He had been the one that always brightened my mood when I was unhappy and brought cheer to my heart when he arrived back home from one of his conquests.
Lennox was the only one that understood me and when I was upset and needed to tell someone he was always there to listen.
My heart squeezes so hard that I feel I cannot go on, and my eyes flood with tears at these painful memories.
Who will listen to me now? Who will make me smile in all my distress?
I do not think I shall ever be happy again. Not when my heart is so broken. I cannot bear someone else leaving me.
First Mother and Father and now my brother. I feel so alone, so cold and yet there is a numbness where I cannot feel a thing. I cannot bear it nor accept the fact but it stares me in the face.
My prayers have been constant, asking God to help me, to strengthen me, to comfort me because without Him I know I will not last.
Without Him I know I am alone.
So my closing words are these: do not take for granted those around you. Treasure each moment you have together while they are with you because before you know it they could be gone.
-Emerald de Gavrillac
Queen of Krespania
What is love? It is not something tangible or substantial. It cannot be seen nor felt physically and you sometime wonder if it even exists. It is something hard to understand, to comprehend, and yet it encompasses all of us in different ways.
It is easy to say that you love someone but to really show it in deed and acts is another thing that most of us do not achieve.
I discovered that we are all so very wrapped up in ourselves that we selfishly do not consider others, what they might be needing or thinking, even when we claim that we love them. We only look out for ourselves at the expense of our loved ones.
So I have halted myself and contemplated this fact. Is my love I claim for my family in earnest? You tend to take advantage of their love for you and in your selfish state squelch it and step all over it in your own self-pursuits. You have the mindset that their love will always be there for you and never vanish so you naturally forget about the special fact that they love you and care for you.
That is...until their gone. Then your mind continually brings back memories of their kindness and care despite your selfishness and how you in return gave them...nothing.
These are dreary and disheartening words but they are the truth.
The reason for all my melancholy is because I have (I am ashamed to admit) experienced this. I am guilty of this wrongdoing and there is nothing now that I can do to mend the way I have acted.
I am heartbroken and saddened beyond words and this knowledge only adds to my grief.
My despair is great dwelling upon the fact that I shall never be capable of returning those years of love that I have ungratefully received and that thought alone I cannot bear.
You will not understand my full meaning I suppose, unless I tell you the cause of my sadness.
I have received a letter. The outside looks like any other insignificant letter but the story it told inside was a whole different matter.
It came from Christian Bentione, Lennox’s first mate and a loyal companion on board The Ruler, Lennox’s prized vessel.
He relayed that there was a sea battle in the Arctos ocean amidst a terrible storm. Two enemy ships that belonged to Wilson, a long time enemy of Agmar and of anyone who opposes his power, attacked Lennox’s vessel. They saw the two ships on the horizon and one drew closer to attack, wrote Christian. He said that a well placed cannon ball was sent into their powder keg and immediately it exploded into a million pieces.
The rain came in torrents and the waves foamed and threatened to overturn their ship with their violent rushing. Lightening cracked the sky with a brilliant light and sent a thunderous rumble that shook the timbers of the vessel. But the other ship was relentless in it’s pursuit of Lennox.
Wilson’s ship circled around behind them at a distance and seemed to wait.
Christian writes that they assumed Wilson’s ship would attack at dawn and so in attempt to not alarm them that Lennox knew of their presence they preceded to keep their lanterns lit as if nothing was amiss while secretly they let out a dingy behind them with a rope tied to the ship.
They used the rope to climb down to the dingy and watch the enemy ship without the interference of the light that The Ruler produced.
And they waited.
Their estimation was correct. At dawn, when the sun had barely risen above the eastern horizon, the enemy battleship unfurled their canvas and sped toward The Ruler with intent to sink.
The events that followed were typical of a sea battle and yet the consequences were significant.
One could not tell the difference between the thunder and the rumble of a cannon as it exploded with a deadly projectile, the first mate wrote. And the two opposing forces fired upon each other with ferocity until one of Wilson’s hit their mark. It embedded the ammunition of the cannon into the side of The Ruler, the impact against the hull of the vessel exploded the side into pieces and rocked the ship so violently that my brother, who was on the poop deck issuing orders, was thrown overboard.
Christian was on the quarterdeck at the time and saw as he was hurled overboard. The waves roared and rose several feet above Lennox’s head before dropping and enclosing him in their icy grip. It was a few seconds and then his head reappeared in the dark foamy turbulence and Christian yelled for the crew to throw him a rope.
Another wave was coming and Lennox had only enough time to grab a hold of the dingy that had been torn from it’s lodgings and pull himself into it.
The wave collapsed and before the men could arrive with the rope Lennox was forced out into the sea by the effects of it.
Christian wrote that it would have been in vain to try to throw a rope to him because he was already too far out for it to be of any use and they could not at this point go after him since the battle against Wilson's ship was still raging on despite the loss of their captain.
He was distraught and at a loss on what action to take as he watched his captain and emperor in a small boat drifting out into the fierce, open sea. The rain poured down upon him and soon a wave curled up and dissolved any view he had of him.
My heart lodged in my throat as I read this and for a moment I was frozen, feeling as if I could not breath and that the whole world had collapsed on me. How could this be?
Lennox, lost in the sea? The letter drifted from my hand onto the floor below as I dropped to the couch.
My dear, dear brother! My only brother! All since childhood everything we had done had been with each other.
He taught me how to shoot the bow and crossbow, showed me how to use the broadsword, and influenced me with a love of adventure.
He had been the one that always brightened my mood when I was unhappy and brought cheer to my heart when he arrived back home from one of his conquests.
Lennox was the only one that understood me and when I was upset and needed to tell someone he was always there to listen.
My heart squeezes so hard that I feel I cannot go on, and my eyes flood with tears at these painful memories.
Who will listen to me now? Who will make me smile in all my distress?
I do not think I shall ever be happy again. Not when my heart is so broken. I cannot bear someone else leaving me.
First Mother and Father and now my brother. I feel so alone, so cold and yet there is a numbness where I cannot feel a thing. I cannot bear it nor accept the fact but it stares me in the face.
My prayers have been constant, asking God to help me, to strengthen me, to comfort me because without Him I know I will not last.
Without Him I know I am alone.
So my closing words are these: do not take for granted those around you. Treasure each moment you have together while they are with you because before you know it they could be gone.
-Emerald de Gavrillac
Queen of Krespania
Good job on all of the posts.
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